Category: General
Posted by: Dave
Yes.. I did mull over the title before I started writing this article - that's what I came up with. I suppose the alternate title could have been "Back in the air!" but this just seems more appropriate.

As site readers are aware, I am a man of many hobbies. They never really get old either, just seem to fade in and out. Once I pick something up that interests me it kind of sticks for life. "Flying" or more accurately, Remote Controlled Flight is one of those things. I started flying when I was about 10. My dad built me a Midwest Aerostar 40 trainer plane and I used to rock a 4 channel Futaba radio that weighed as much as my head, which as you can see from these images is enormous. Back when I started in the hobby, flight simulator software for computers was not very far along... and I certainly didn't have access to any. I fucking hated flying. I could not grasp the simple concepts, I would go out to the field and be on a trainer cable connected to my dad's radio and he would be saving me left right and center. Constant fuckups with direction, my brain just couldn't seem to grasp the simple concept that when the aircraft was coming back towards you, the roll inputs were reversed.

I flew very little and dreaded every minute of the "bonding" time with my dad out at the field because it just wasn't fun. Enter the flight simulator a few years later. I believe I was in grade 10 when I got my hands on "Realflight Deluxe". Wow, its a lot more fun when you don't have to worry about wrecking shit. I treated the simulator like it was a video game, and at the time I was fuckin good at video games. I think I can honestly say without exaggerating that through my highschool and college years I flew over 2000 simulator hours on fixed wing aircraft, and probably another 500 on helicopters. Now over this time I went through many real life R/C planes, I had combat bees, aerobatic biplanes, even a nice 3D funtana. I was acclaimed at the flying field as a quick learner... but fuck you guys, it wasn't quick, it just seemed quick because I learned at home on a computer and then came out a couple times a week to the field to look like an idiot savant. Or maybe just a savant, or maybe just an idiot. Not sure.

I couldn't really afford great aircraft, but I still had some interesting stuff. No helicopters though, until now.

I picked the hobby back up in December last year with the purchase of a Blade 400 3D. By all accounts a mediocre but "hobby grade" R/C helicopter made by E-Flite. Certainly not the best in its class, but it was relatively inexpensive ($550) and included a 2.4GHz transmitter. I decided at the time that I would get back on the simulator and also log every real flight I have with the Blade 400. Well, this is me remember, and I told myself "just one helicopter"... Fast forward 7 months:


Not a blade 400.




My primary heli, a Trex 600 Nitro Super Pro with an OS 55 HZ.

Yes... the fleet has... umm... expanded, slightly. I've now got two Trex 600 nitro helicopters, a Trex 450 Pro, a Trex 250SE, and the Blade 400 3D I started with back in December that I don't even fly anymore. As I am writing this article my flight log has 218 logged flights totalling 25 hours of actual flight time. My skill level has improved to performing nearly flawless tictocs at various speeds, to inverted flight accross the deck and hovering upside down all the way to the grass. Sounds impressive, but really is not. There is still a long way to go, like reverse flight, reverse inverted flight, piroette manuvers... all sorts of things. There really are no boundries with helicopters and I'm finding it impossible to get bored, there is always something new to learn.

The only thing that is annoying is that I don't really know anybody that likes this shit, or at least not enough to want to do it on a regular basis. On average I head out to the flying field 2 or 3 times a week, all my friends are either uninterested or can't afford to start the hobby, or both. The few people I know that do fly don't fly nearly as much as I do, so it's kind of a bitch. Usually during the week I am out there solo, talking to myself. I am indeed a member (also a Fixed Wing/Rotary Instructor) of the Chatham Aeronauts again (www.chathamaeronauts.com) so if anyone is into R/C flight, or interested in getting into R/C flight... let me know! We can always use more human shields.

20/04: Oh boy...

Category: General
Posted by: Dave
This site is starting to get quite dated. I really should post an update soon. I'll be sure to get on that in the next day or two.
Category: General
Posted by: Dave
                                   
John, taken summer 2009                               What he may look like today (artist's rendering)



I was sifting through the heaps of data on my fileserver the other day when I stumbled across some ancient archives, well, ancient by computer standards. Among the treasures were some MSN logs from as far back as 2003-2004, since John was ignoring me on MSN at the time as he usually is, I decided that I would sift through this log and paste him some of his messages from me from 2004. Here are some of the highlights...

John on his Pentium II-400 running Half-Life II:
"HL2 looks & runs worse then I do after a Harvest Crunch marathon. Torn open-asshole, wide open."

John on bathing:
"well theres a new moon, time for a bath."

John loves television, and chips:
"i've gotta go eat some chips and watch Road to anal Attrition"

John on workplace etiquette:
"why don't you ninja yourself up and do something productive at work like masterbate on company time."

John on heterosexuality:
"how bout em laker girls eh? Huh, huh, eh, huh? I mean an I right, huh. huh, eh?"

John loves Clay Aiken, more than the everyman.
"just got back from a clay aiken christmast, now i need a shower"

John expresses no concern or love for Terrance Fox:
"I especially enjoyed everything entouring Terry Fox & his imprisonment in carbonite."

John on women in the workforce:
"Dykes, trolls/mongrols, leviathans and primogenitors do not count. But it still sounds like a lot a women there."

John on Taco Bell:
"Did you order constipation, because i heard their constipation in to die for."

I am really not sure...
"M-O-O-N, that spells undescended testicle"

John on my personal medical issues:
"I pray for your colostomy bag every night."

John's response to my suggestion he buys a new computer:
"We'll when pizza pizza replys to my monster add I'll buy one. If dom could make a computer with a scroll saw & a caulking gun he would."

John on TheDom:
"Dom says "Hi my name is Dom and I drive a Ford Taurus!"

John on I have no fucking idea:
"don't make me break the terminology i learT @ schoool that defines me as a custodial technologist."

John's response to some random comment I made in 2004, and probably his response for this article:
"wheres the emoticon for fuckshovel?"
Category: General
Posted by: Dave
This post is something I have been meaning to do for quite some time now. My buddy Joe has harassed me to do something similar called "The Top 10 John Petrucci Solos, and me playing them" however I don't have the 15 years it would require me to learn the top 10 John Petrucci solos, so this will have to do.

I have very carefully selected these solos from the entire Dream Theater, John Petrucci, and Liquid Tension Experiment catalog of both live and studio recordings. Of course there will be some omissions, it's like asking me to pick the Top 15 hottest playmates of all time: there's bound to be some good shit left out. Anyway, this is just one man's opinion, mine, but my opinion is the only one that matters anyway, you fuckers.

On with the list!

15. This Dying Soul
Facemelt: Extreme X 1000
Expressiveness: Low/Moderate
Style: Angry, Extreme Speed
From: Studio Dream Theater Album "Train of Thought"

John Petrucci in aggressive mode. Starts out with an extremely quick shredfest with a couple excellent pauses and moves into an extreme unison cockwave session. I love this solo.

Listen!


14. When the Water Breaks
Facemelt: Moderate
Expressiveness: Very High
Style: Melodic tracking, with nice flow.
From: Studio Liquid Tension Experiment Album "Liquid Tension Experiment: 2"


When the water breaks was written to express the birth of one of Petrucci's kids... I wish all childbirth was this cool (and didn't include taking home a child). Starts off smooth and expressive and moves into some quick and tasty stuff. Very cool solo indeed.

Listen!


13. Goodnight Kiss
Facemelt: Low / Moderate
Expressiveness: Very High
Style: Smooth and Expressive with hints of pentatonic raunch.
From: Studio Dream Theater Album "Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence"


The minor key change in the middle of this solo gets me every time, and I am a huge sucker for the slow expressive intro. Some wicked blues riffs in the 2nd half.

Listen!


12. As I am
Facemelt: Extreme
Expressiveness: Low / Moderate
Style: Standard Heavy Shred
From: Studio Dream Theater Album "Train of Thought"


Another extreme shredfest from Train of Thought, the heaviest dream theater album to date. Not only does this feature some lightning quick shredding but the pauses and bends are perfect. Great angry tune.

Listen!


11. Lost without you
Facemelt: Low transitioning to High
Expressiveness: Very High
Style: Smooth Blues, building, extreme legato
From: Studio John Petrucci Solo Album "Suspended Animation"


This is without a doubt my favorite song from this album. This may be one of John's most expressive solos, I'm glad he finally took the time to record this and put it out there. Thanks John.

Listen!


10. Another Day
Facemelt: Moderate
Expressiveness: Extreme
Style: Guitargasm
From: Studio Dream Theater Album "Images & Words"

The first "successful" Dream Theater album was successful for a reason, this song fucking rules god damn you. Why does it rule? Because John decided to unload all over the back of his guitar during the recording of "Another Day", that's why. Also, John's semen is corrosive, so he had to throw that fuckin' guitar out after.

Listen!


9. Blind Faith
Facemelt: Extreme
Expressiveness: High
Structure: Emotional Power Shred
From: Studio Dream Theater Album "Six Degress of Inner Turbulence"

This is one of those solos I forgot about until I was listening to the song again one day recently and went "oh yeah, this fucking rules". Short and sweet (short by Petrucci standards anyway).

Listen!


8. The Glass Prison
Facemelt: Face Destroyer
Expressiveness: I could feel myself getting kicked in the face.
Style: Petruccinuts
From: Studio Dream Theater Album "Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence"

This is one of those things that you listen to and go "How is that even possible" and then you look it up on youtube and find a bunch of Guitards trying to duplicate it and failing miserably. This is one of those solos I will never attempt to learn, or if I do, I wont ever tell anyone until I have to go in to get my arthritis fixed. Half sweep, half WTF, potentially the best 40 seconds in music history.

Listen!


7. Freedom of Speech
Facemelt: Low transitioning to High
Expressiveness: Very High
Style: Pants Creamer
From: Studio Liquid Tension Experiment Album "Liquid Tension Experiment"

This solo gives me chills every time I hear it. There really is no other way to describe its awesome powers. I'd love to see this one live, that's for sure.

Listen!


6. In The Name of God

Facemelt: Extreme
Expressiveness: Possible cure for cancer.
Style: WTF Gypsy!?
From: Studio Dream Theater Album "Train of Thought"

Potentially one of the greatest songs ever created, this solo is among the more unique sounding solos from Dream Theater. I realize that some of this is a unison but whatever, it starts as a solo. Wicked bass backing track and some serious gypsy jam shred.

Listen!


5. Under a Glass Moon
Facemelt: Insane.
Expressiveness: High.
Style: "I know every technique, ever."
From: Studio Dream Theater Album "Images & Words"

This is what I think happened during the recording of this solo:

*Lucifer enters room*:
The Devil: "Hey John, I bet you $3 can't make my face, which is constructed entirely of molten lava, melt off..."
*John Petrucci eats a fist full of broken glass*
*John Petrucci picks up guitar and records Under a Glass Moon Solo*
John Petrucci: "... and I fucked your sister."
*Lucifer's head explodes*
The End.

Listen!


4. Live Scenes from New York - Through Her Eyes
Facemelt: High.
Expressiveness: Very High.
Style: On-stage orgasm.
From: Studio Dream Theater Album "Life Scenes from New York"


Thought not his cleanest work, this half-improvised solo builds very nicely and unloads with large copious amounts of explosive guitarrhea all over the audience. Another one of the few solos that give me chills when I listen to it. This is just proof that John Petrucci can shit on a guitar and that shit will contain nothing but excellence.

Listen!


3. Never Enough
Facemelt: High.
Expressiveness: Extreme.
Structure: Technical Wizardry.
From: Studio Dream Theater Album "Octavarium"


I never really considered Octavarium to be a guitar-centric album, and this song isn't really an exception to that, except for about 1 minute where one of the coolest unison in the universe takes place. Some fantastic sweeps that express at the speed of light.

Listen!


2. Lines in the Sand
Facemelt: Moderate.
Expressiveness: Extreme.
Structure: Smooth bluesy overload.
From: Studio Dream Theater Album "Falling into Infinity"

Lines in the sand is from way back when Dream Theater was getting pushed around by bullshit record producers to make more "radio friendly" music... This is kind of an example of them really not falling in line... The solo is long, and way too fucking awesome for FM. Fuck you, producers!

Listen!


And now for the moment 1 person has been waiting for.. my only reader really, Greg.. the #1 petrucci solo of all time

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Category: General
Posted by: Dave
Yes I realize I've kind of neglected... well, not kind of... Ok, I've neglected my site for quite some time now... and I intend on posting something relevant in a while, but I figured I'd soften up you fucks with this first... This gave me quite a chuckle, he obviously didn't realize he didn't hang up the phone. Enjoy. No video, audio only.